The Crazy Train: Crap films, upcoming holiday, and all round random shyte

So, Saw now ranks way down there with House by the Cemetary, Vanilla Sky, Chariots of Fire and numerous other films that I have watched and really regretted. Another two hours of my life that I will never EVER get back. Thats one hundred and twenty minutes; seven thousand, two hundred seconds; just TOO LONG! Plot? What plot? Gore? Nothing too spectacular. It was compared to Se7en, which was a damn good film, which ever genious of a film critic made the comparison should have his balls chopped off and fed to him.

On a tour of Texas, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the coastal area for some sightseeing. He was cruising along the sea wall on Galveston Island in his Popemobile when suddenly he noticed a frantic commotion just off shore.

There was John Kerry struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of a 25 foot shark.

As the Pope watched, horrified, a speedboat came racing up with two men aboard.

One of the men, President Bush, quickly fired a harpoon into the shark's side while Dick Cheney reached out and pulled the bleeding, semi-conscious John Kerry from the water. Then, using baseball bats, the two heroes beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately, the Pope shouted and summoned them to the beach. "I give you my blessings for your brave actions," he told them. "I heard that there was bitter hatred between President Bush and John Kerry, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, President Bush asked Dick, "Who was that?" "It was the Pope," Dick replied. "He is in direct contact with God and has all of God's wisdom."

"Well," President Bush said, "he may have access to God's wisdom, but he doesn't know squat about Texas shark fishing... how's the bait holding up?"

I found it funny. Unlike this! Just wrong, so totally, totally wrong.

So, I am off to the good ol sunny UK on Friday night, stupid plane doesn't get to Luton until nigh on 2 in the morning, if it is on time. Once out, Disco Dan will be meeting me there with the lovely Harriet (6 weeks!! its been 6 bloody weeks!!) and then driving us all the way back down to Southampton for a few days of eating, drinking, cavorting, etc :D
2 Foot Hotdog!